Vet Wisdom® Café

Connecting with Grieving Clients

I so appreciate all of you who read our blog each day.  That's why I'm careful not to use this space for shameless promotion of my business or the products we sell.

But....

(You saw that coming, didn't you?!)

I hope you'll indulge me as I tell you that my latest book, Connecting with Grieving Clients: Supportive Communication for 14 Common Situations (2^nd edition, AAHA Press) is finally out!  I'm excited about this one because Dana Durrance (veterinary grief counselor extraordinaire) and I did an almost total rewrite and redesign of the first edition and it's much, much improved.

In their promotional materials, the American Animal Hospital Association (AAHA) called it a “must-have” resource for veterinarians and staff members. If I do say so myself, I think that's true because Dana and I packed it full of clinically proven strategies for dealing effectively with pet loss and euthanasia.  We included topics like delivering bad news, dealing with suicidal comments, and making referrals to mental health professionals, as well as staff training materials.

So, if you're a veterinarian, veterinary nurse or technician, receptionist, or even a professional who works in an animal related business/organization, please take a minute to check it out on our website and to see if it might be of help to you.

I hope it's a resource you'll want to refer to again and again as you do the important work you do.

--Laurel

"And now, to all the good dogs..."

25 years ago, I was one of a handful of grief counselors beginning a new job in a field that we were inventing as we went along.  The field was referred to as "pet loss counseling" and even the veterinarians we were working with thought we might not be doing the right thing by "paying attention" to their clients' grief.

There was a prevailing belief that "paying attention" to the loss of a pet would just make matters worse for grieving pet parents.  "We've just killed their pet. What could we possibly do that would make them feel any better?" one skeptical veterinarian asked me.

Frankly, I wasn't sure myself.

Then, a wonderful woman named Cathy Bender visited me at the CSU Veterinary Teaching Hospital and showed me her line of Eldorado Arts pet sympathy cards.  She created her cards so veterinarians could send them to their grieving clients.  Cathy was a gifted artist and paired her realistic artwork with poignant words to express just the right sentiment for the occasion.

Today, sending a sympathy card when a pet dies is standard procedure for veterinarians.  But, back in those days, sending a sympathy card when a pet died was a new idea. Cathy's cards, from her company Eldorado Arts, were among the first of their kind. 

One of Cathy's Eldorado Arts card pictured dogs of all sizes and breeds running together through the grass and it quickly became my favorite.  The card featured a quote from George Papashvily that read, "And now, to all the good dogs... the special ones you loved best, those of ours we still miss...good-bye, until, on some brighter day, in some fairer place, they run out again to greet us."  For me, this card conjured just the right blend of empathy, hope, and spiritual uplift.  I added my own note and sent them to all my dog-parent clients.

And, then, Cathy discontinued the card.

I was lost!  Oh, there were many, many other wonderful cards that replaced it.  Cathy was, and still is, a prolific artist.  But, I really missed that particular card.....

So, today, I have some fun news to share with you.

World by the Tail, Inc., is now the new owner of Eldorado Arts cards and my favorite design is once again mine to send!  Cathy decided to retire after 24 years in the card business and we were fortunate enough to become the keepers of her artistic legacy.  Along with Cathy's business, we acquired her original art, so my card is now one of dozens available for me---and YOU---to send to grieving pet parents.

Tammy has my "Good Dogs" card, along with all the other sympathy cards, posted on our veterinary website. Message note cards, blank note cards, and postcards are also available. Please take a look and help us welcome Eldorado Arts cards to our Veterinary Wisdom® line of client support products!

--Laurel

A Sweet Shelter Dog Story

A few weeks ago, Chris Davis wrote a wonderful post on her blog about the ClayPaws® print she received from her veterinarian.  That led to an exchange between Tammy and Chris and, ultimately, to me ordering samples of the books Chris had written.

I'm so glad I did!

I want to pass on the names of these books so you might add them to your library or have a supply on hand to give to friends or clients when they lose a pet.  For me, the most frustrating thing about wanting to support someone through pet loss is not having the resources at hand that I want to give them.  Often, libraries and book stores don't carry the books about pet loss that I want and, if I have to order them, the lag between the pet's death and my gift can seem too long.

Hey, it's always a good idea to be prepared!

So, check out For Every Dog an Angel and For Every Cat an Angel at Chris Davis' website at www.lightheartedpress.com  These books do make use of angel imagery, but aren't really religious, in message.  Chris writes the stories and does the illustrations so they are truly a labor of love.

And, while you're there, pick up a copy of The Shelter Dog.  I love this book!  It has a great message and a sweet, little twist in plot near the end that will warm your heart.  It's perfect for anyone who is beginning life with a new pet adopted from a shelter.

--Laurel 

Other resources you might find helpful:

Support Center for Pet Parents

Resource Center for Veterinary Teams

Another New AAHA Resource

Since this blog is a useful way to let veterinarians and practice staff members know about new resources that are helpful for pet parents, I want to tell you about two new brochures by AAHA Press.

They're titled The Loss of Your Pet: A Resource for Pet Owners and When Your Pet is Sick: A Resource for Pet Owners.  Both are written by veterinary grief specialist Dana Durrance.

While both pamphlets are very helpful, I particularly like When Your Pet is Sick because it does a good job of discussion the feelings that arise and the decisions that must be made before a pet's euthanasia.  These are never easy topics to think about or to discuss, but reading about them BEFORE a pet dies can help prevent some of the regrets pet parents typically have when they don't plan or prepare themselves ahead of time.

So many pet owners need and want information and support BEFORE their pet dies and don't know where to find it.  If you're a member of a veterinary team, this brochure offers a way for you to help prepare your clients for what is ahead.  It's a very effective way to open up that conversation. 

Visit the AAHA website for pricing and ordering information.

 --Laurel

Related resources you might find helpful: